Moving blogging host

After tiring of Blogger's foibles (especially in Opera) and lack of features, I have moved my blog to Wordpress at misterslimm.wordpress.com.

Driving Emotion Type-S PlayStation 2 video game review - 7/10

★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

Most people would be put off by the ugly graphics, anyone who can see past that will probably throw the controller out the window when trying to drive the cars in a straight line. Me? Well, I got past the graphics, I handled the handling and was rewarded with a consistently thrilling and challenging racing game. That turned out to be rather short. Ah well, such is life.

The most bemoaned aspect of this game has always been the handling. All contemporary reviewers rightly talked about the unique handling and you could just hear their eyes rolling. Question is: is it unique good, unique interesting or unique useless?

Note: I am playing the European edition of the game which, as I understand it, had the handling adjusted after virulent complaints about the Japanese release.

I'd like to call the handling 'unique interesting.' While it is certainly different from all other console racers, it is consistent, responsive and learnable. It does take a while to get right up to speed but once you do you'll be zipping around and drifting with the best of them. You do feel in control of the car and that it is taking a good deal of skill to get good lap times. It is satisfying to learn and master and extra satisfying to see the results in the game's excellent replays.

Graphics are eye-catchingly poor with clumsy visual effects and mountainous jaggies on every object. As with all games, however, the impressiveness or disappointment of the graphics diminishes rapidly after you load and the races are so challenging that you'll have no time to wonder why your shiny PlayStation 2 is playing a game that looks like it should be on an original PlayStation. On the subject of graphics, however, this game does feature some wonderfully directed replays. The lighting effects and choice of camera angles make your driving look better than in any other replay system on any other game.

Game Progress

• Division 3 completed.


• Division 2 completed.


• Division 1 completed.


• GT Division completed (game completed though this opens the One Make race on all tracks).

Driving Happy Type-S

• Outstanding lighting effects for rendering car headlights, sun glare and trackside lights.


• Funky depth-of-field effect that exists in-race and in replay and does help the replays look more convincing. If only the jaggies weren't there.


• Replays are good, energetically directed and generally make your good driving look amazing. In particular, opposite lock moments (frequent in this game) look better here than in, I think, any other game (up to 2005).


• Handling aside, race difficulty is very well-pitched allowing for challenging and close races (until the GT class where your first car is super-fast).


• Super-smooth in-race graphics.


• Excellent track design (shame there are only five original courses in three locations).


• Almost every car you receive as a reward, you are pleased to get. (The exceptions are the estates and people-carriers.)


• Dashboard modelling for all cars (sadly the in-car view is extraordinarily difficult to use).

Driving Sad Type-S

• Huge loading times to get into the race for the first time, I'm talking enough time to go the toilet or grab a drink.


• Eye-catchingly awful jaggies everywhere you look.


• Clunky in-race car models, they are good enough but only just.


• No auto-save


• No auto-load


• Doesn't remember your favoured driving view, it always starts with in-car


• No widescreen mode


• Line Training mode not needed and Autocross challenges (4 of them) therein are impossible to complete thanks to funny handling.

My Forza Motorsport Cars - Toyota - 1995 Border MR2 Turbo T-bar - Superman Returns theme

My Cars - Toyota - 1995 Border MR2 Turbo T-bar
Originally uploaded by Mister Slimm.

Went for a Superman motif and tried to emulate the darker feeling of the 2006 "Superman Returns" movie promotional material. While the customisation didn't have exactly the colours I wanted they did look much better on the car while racing than they did in the designer.

This was my first time using the gradient tool as I wanted a blue / black gradient. As with a lot of new tools I probably overused it and added the red skirts. I employed it to much more subtle effect on the yellow background to the Superman logo just to adjust the colour feeling slightly. It's an effect you wouldn't notice if it I didn't mention it but I think it does have a beneficial effect.

After racing with the car, I wondered whether a homage to the American Stars and Stripes flag would help make the rear of the car more interesting. I went with a wavy flag motif but when I started putting stars on in the shape of tiny Toyota logos, I didn't like it. I replaced the stars with my racing number (34) in white but then hit on the idea of replacing the stars with a white chequered pattern. I did that, then placed my racing number in line with that in the yellow used for the background of the Superman badge.

I briefly toyed with getting my racing number into the Superman badge but didn't want to lose the hard work I had put into it in case I wouldn’t be happy with the 34 Krypton logo. I'm going to wait until I have enough spare cash to buy another MR2 so I can experiment safely.

My Forza Motorsport Cars - Volkswagen - 1995 Corrado SLC

My Cars - Volkswagen - 1995 Corrado SLC (6)
Originally uploaded by Mister Slimm.

The coolest thing about Forza Motorsport is the ability to customise the paint job on your car to an extent never realised before.

This is my first custom paint job on my first car in the Career mode. It is a 1995 Volkswagen Corrado SLC and it is a racing livery.

Alt+Space->M to the rescue

At the risk of making myself sound slightly less brilliant than I surely must be, I managed to get myself into a right pickle yesterday with my dual monitor setup.

Using Nvidia dual monitor mode Dualview you have your Windows Start bar on one screen with a clear second screen. Like so:


However, I was setting up a new monitor and experimenting with different resolutions and made it so that the display with the Start bar (and all my applications) was being displayed at a resolution my display could not handle.

My second display, the one with nothing on it, was fine. That's okay, I thought. I'll just right-click my visible display, bring up Display properties and put in a usable resolution for my primary display. Unfortunately, right-clicking the Desktop and selecting Properties opens that window on... the same display as your Start bar. Which I couldn't see.

Right-O. I'll try opening the Nvidia Control Panel from the same right-click menu. That's opens on the wrong screen also.

Here's where a deeper knowledge of XP keyboard shortcuts would come in useful. I know that the Window icon produces a menu that includes a Move option. I'll just Google "move windows keyboard shortcut xp". Right. Where's Opera? Oh.

Now I couldn't just turn the machine off and reboot into safe mode because it is an HTPC and was recording something. So I came up with a brilliant plan. I would move my mouse into the blank screen a different distance and at a different height multiple times and try and drag a window back across. Hopefully, it would be the browser or the control panel. After trying this many many times, I twigged that my browser window was maximised and, therefore, not draggable. I un-maximised the browser window (just moved the mouse to the top of the blank screen and double-clicked) and many, many times later, I actually did it! I actually blind-grabbed a window from the blank screen.

Now, it turns out there is a keyboard shortcut for moving a window and it is Alt+Space then M. Alt+Space brings up the window icon menu. So I could then Alt-Tab to the different windows and move them across to the visible display one at a time.

Sadly, this wasn't the end of my woes as I used the Nvidia Control Panel to change the resolution of the blank screen...

...and managed to blank both displays. How? I do not know but that did require a reboot into safe mode.

The thing I do find odd is that I have no idea when I am going to get the confirmation dialog box after changing my display options. (The one that returns the display to its former setting if you don't click Yes.) Sometimes I get it, sometimes I don't and I don't know what the difference is. I really wish it had popped up on this occasion. Fortunately, Windows XP's plethora of keyboard shortcuts really helped out. Alt+Space->M is one I'm going to remember. Until I forget it. Which'll be about 1 day before I need to use it again, I'll wager.

You, Me and Dupree mini movie review ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

★★★★★ ★☆☆☆☆
Despite a difficult first act, Owen Wilson provides enough of his Owen-ness (good-natured, honest charm) to make this a decent good-natured rom-com. Everyone steps up their game in the second act - the writer and the stars - and a clichéd but fun third act ends things on a sweet-natured high.

PEOPLE CREDITS
• Director: Anthony Russo
• Director: Joe Russo
◦ Owen Wilson: Dupree
◦ Kate Hudson: Molly
◦ Matt Dillon: Carl
◦ Seth Rogen: Neil
◦ Amanda Detmer: Annie
◦ Todd Stashwick: Tony
◦ Michael Douglas: Mr. Thompson
• Producer: Owen Wilson
• Writer: Michael Le Sieur

CONTENT
Mild swear words, strong sexual references. Violence. Masturbation, anal sexuality
Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult..

Frenzy (1972) movie review ★★★★★★★★☆☆

★★★★★ ★★★☆☆
Getting off to a bad-tempered start with Jon Finch as a drunken, charmless soon-to-be 'wrong man', this penultimate Hitchcock movie finally settles into a first-rate chiller with the onset of the rape and murder. The film is grippingly paced at any rate and directed far better than it is written (by "Sleuth" scribe Anthony Schaffer but almost all the swearing is rubbish and the dialogue is clunky until the rape and murder). This is better and more satisfying than his previous three films "Marnie", "Torn Curtain" and "Topaz" and is understandably regarded as the last great Hitchcock.
(comment continues below)

DESCRIPTION
The Necktie Killer is piquing tourist and local interest in London's Covent Garden but a down-on-his-luck ex-army man Richard Blaney is about to find himself on the wrong end of a giant pile of circumstantial evidence.

PEOPLE CREDITS
• Director: Alfred Hitchcock
• Writer (Original Novel) "Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Square": Arthur la Bern
◦ Jon Finch: Richard Blaney
◦ Alec McCowen: Chief Inspector Oxford
◦ Barry Foster: Robert Rusk
• Writer (Screenplay): Anthony Shaffer

CONTENT
Mild swear words, strong adult dialogue. Substance abuse (sleeping pills). Graphic disturbing violence, extremely unpleasant scenes. Rape scene (Barry Foster on Barbara Leigh-Hunt), full female nudity
Classified 18 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 18 years and over.


(comment continues)


Any scene with Barry Foster in is brilliant. The most famous or infamous scene in the film is his character Robert Rusk's rape and murder of Brenda Blaney (Barbara Leigh-Hunt). It is superbly put together. Disturbing, terrifying and convincing. The Hitchcock touch is that you cannot turn away. You are gripped. Later, the best scene in the film, is Rusk's retrieval of the tie-pin in the back of the potato truck memorably grim and darkly, horribly humourous.

Another surprisingly great scene is the discovery of Brenda Blaney (Barbara Leigh-Hunt). The assistant goes in, the camera comes out and waits outside. We know there is going to be a scream, there always is. It is the cliché. Hitchcock holds the moment brilliantly. You are subconsciously holding your breath waiting for the scream. It feels like its never going to come. You wonder if the assistant is going to come running out, it's been so long. Then it comes! The scream and… I jumped! Amazing.

The revelation of the guilty verdict is wonderfully done with Hitchcock generating genuine suspense through the closed door.

As a bonus, Hitchcock delivers a couple of wonderful, generous scenes where the lead investigator discusses the case in explicit detail while miserably prodding the gourmet meals his wife keeps insisting on preparing - much to his chagrin.

To cap things off, Hitchcock delivers a low-key but brilliant ending where it looks like our 'wrong man' will have inadvertently incriminated himself beyond redemption. Then he finishes the film instantly. It reminds one of the ending of his masterpiece "North by Northwest" in its crispness.

Special mention for an amazing trailer featuring Hitchcock floating belly-up in the Thames: "I dare say you are wondering why I am floating around London like this." Or when explaining that the setting is the Covent Garden market he is rudely interrupted by a rigor mortis leg popping up out of a bag of potatoes: "I've heard of a leg of lamb. I've even heard of a leg of chicken but never a leg of potatoes." They don't make trailers like that anymore.

When is Sunday Monday?

Time for an infinite wisdom post now. On my system and in Microsoft Access 2002 the following VBA command:

?WeekdayName(vbSunday)

yields the result

Monday

Awesome!

Why does this happen? Well, it turns out that the help file is right but the actual command in Access doesn't do what it says on the tin.

Description
Returns a string indicating the specified day of the week.

Syntax
WeekdayName(weekday, abbreviate, firstdayofweek)

The WeekdayName function syntax has these parts:

Part	Description
weekday	Required. The numeric designation for the day of the week. Numeric value of each day depends on setting of the firstdayofweek setting.
abbreviate	Optional. Boolean value that indicates if the weekday name is to be abbreviated. If omitted, the default is False, which means that the weekday name is not abbreviated.
firstdayofweek	Optional. Numeric value indicating the first day of the week. See Settings section for values.

Settings
The firstdayofweek argument can have the following values:

Constant	Value	Description
vbUseSystem	0	Use National Language Support (NLS) API setting.
vbSunday	1	Sunday (default)
vbMonday	2	Monday
vbTuesday	3	Tuesday
vbWednesday	4	Wednesday
vbThursday	5	Thursday
vbFriday	6	Friday
vbSaturday	7	Saturday

Note the help file shows us a third argument that changes the first day of the week. It states that the default is vbSunday (value: 1).

Not true. The default value is 0 and on my system the first day of the week is set to Saturday. This system-wide value is the one that is used to determine which day comes first on those month-at-a-time views such as the one you get by double-clicking the time in the Windows system tray.

Therefore, according to this function on my system, vbSunday is Monday.

Is this the end of Liam?

Well, I've made comment about Liam's somewhat questionable public displays as the loading mascot for Yahoo Mail but even I wouldn't want him to get squished. Poor old Liam.

Logitech LX5 Cordless Optical Mouse review ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

Logitech LX5 Cordless Optical Mouse

★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

A comfortable ambidextrous wireless mouse with at least one significant flaw in a harder-to-use-than-it-should-be middle mouse button.

Things I Learned From Dropping My Mouse Onto a Hard Surface

Never drop your mouse onto a hard surface. You can quote me.

I had been the satisfied owner of the Logitech Cordless Desktop for Notebooks but I recently dropped the mouse onto a hard surface from desk height. Mouse still seemed to work but then I noticed that I was having a hard time selecting things and that I was double-clicking items instead of single-clicking them. So, a new mouse was needed.

The LX5

I didn't really want to go to the expense of replacing my whole keyboard and mouse wireless setup. What I wanted was a mouse that would use the same, very handy, receiver as the Cordless Desktop for Notebooks.

Brilliantly, Argos sell the LX5 mouse for £19.95 and I just happened to have £20-worth of Argos vouchers. That feels free. I even got my five pence change!

I worked on the presumption that since this wasn't a Logitech Bluetooth product that it should work with the same receiver as my previous setup. And, after being a bit thick, it did! I didn't even need the supplied setup disc as Logitech have long since made their software support all their keyboard and mouse products. I simply pressed the Connect button on the wireless receiver and the SetPoint software now listed my mouse as the LX5.

Design

The LX5 is a medium-sized mouse with a design that features sides that are more sculptured than they appear in the Logitech promotional photos. It is also symmetrical. This means that the mouse is comfortable for use by left-handed and right-handed people.

Because it is a wireless mouse it is battery powered (2AA Duracell's are supplied, most impressive) and this makes the mouse much heavier than a wired equivalent. However, it is lighter than Logitech's rechargeable mice.

SetPoint Usability

The LX5 works directly in Windows XP without requiring any additional drivers or software installed. SetPoint is the software that controls customisation of Logitech keyboard and mouse products and is a highly recommended install. It is a vast improvement on Logitech's previous software and does everything you want it to.

It keeps itself up-to-date by checking Logitech every so often (I think it is every month or so). It tells you if the batteries in your cordless devices are getting low on juice. Most importantly, it allows you to customise what happens when you use your device. With the LX5 this means that the five functions can be mapped to do just about anything on your computer and that you can set acceleration and pointer speed values. You can also set up a game mode that automatically disables a couple of bits of business when you play games, presumably for greater accuracy or something. The game mode is a feature I've never had cause to use.

attractive, clear and easy-to-use

The SetPoint software is attractive, clear and easy-to-use. You select your category of device along the top (for example, My Keyboard or My Mouse) and then a page of setup or information down the left. Any attached devices appear in a drop-down list allowing you to independently configure multiple mice on the same PC. There are relevant and accurate graphics depicting which mouse and keyboard you have attached and everything is clearly labeled. It's a nice piece of software.

Mouse Usability

The mouse glides well and feels comfortable. The two main mouse buttons are in just the right place as is the mouse wheel. The mouse wheel has a nice feel to it with just the right weight. I haven't yet accidentally flicked the mouse wheel left and right but have used these (largely useless) functions deliberately and found them agreeably weighted also.

The main fault with the LX5 now comes to bear. The middle mouse button (ie, clicking the mouse wheel in) is oddly awkward.

middle mouse button is oddly awkward

You need much more pressure to activate the middle mouse button than either the left or right mouse buttons. The feel of the button is entirely different and it almost feels like you have to push it in a different direction to the left and right mouse buttons. Those two buttons have a nice clean click to them. The middle mouse button has a loud cler-unk. In fact, when I first tried to use the middle mouse button I thought that it wasn't there. I needed to push the wheel in much harder; harder than is intuitive.

I wanted my middle mouse button to behave like, well, a middle mouse button

The LX5 feature five customisable functions: left mouse button, middle mouse button, right mouse button, left mouse wheel and right mouse wheel. Of these, the middle mouse button is, by default, bizarrely mapped to a 'zoom' function. This zoom function didn't seem to do anything other than change my mouse pointer to a little magnifying glass. I didn't investigate further as I wanted my middle mouse button to behave like, well, a middle mouse button.

The SetPoint software comes into play here but the middle mouse button setting is tucked away under a drop-down under Other. Never mind, a job you only have to do once. I don't mind that but it is a bit weird.

pinging off into the sunset

Another complaint is the battery cover which requires a leap-of-faith as you push the compartment lock with all your might and hope it doesn't just go pinging off into the sunset. Still, Logitech claim an eight month battery life so you won't be needing access to it all that often. The batteries in the Cordless Desktop for Notebooks mouse lasted a couple of months or so; that was even though I consistently remembered to turn the mouse off whenever I wasn't using it for a period of time.

Conclusion

A comfortable ambidextrous wireless mouse with at least one significant flaw in a harder-to-use-than-it-should-be middle mouse button.

Eye-sore

My replacement Panasonic AX100 projector has become faulty. I've only had it three months. I've returned it to Superfi today for repair. I also asked them to ask Panasonic to provide me with the option of a replacement or refund. It will be interesting to see what transpires with that request.

Regarding Superfi, I sent them an email detailing the problem and told them I would be in later today to return it. They made the effort to call me first thing this morning and tell me that their weekly shipment to headquarters was scheduled for 10am and if I got the projector in before that time it could be moved on straight-away. Splendid.

The fault is something to do with the iris mechanism. This controls the amount of light that is emitted from the projector and, according to the manual, contributes significantly to the life of the bulb. Well, the bulb's still going strong...

The most visible symptom is this: the projector turns itself off when you turn it on.

The "Self Check" option in the hidden / system menu places a red light next to the word "Iris".

Looking back now, I can see that I first had an inkling of a problem about a month ago. The picture suddenly lost life and vibrancy. I had been operating the projector on its "Normal" picture setting up to this point and now the picture was underwhelming. It was fixed by changing the picture mode to "Vivid Cinema" and I remained very happy.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a slight discolouration of the picture on my browser window (which is predominantly white). The left edge of the picture was pink, the right edge blue. As time went on, this got worse and was joined by the bottom half of the picture being tinged grey. While playing games or watching movies, the discolouration was not noticable but, as I say, when using the computer it is distracting so.

About a week ago, the projector started misbehaving in the first couple of minutes after you switch it on. About thirty seconds to one minute after switching on, the image would suddenly go extremely dim for about half-a-second, then return to normal, then dim again, then return to normal and be fine until the projector was switched off.

A few days after this behaviour manifested itself, it started to switch itself off when turned on about one time in three. Now, it switches itself off every time.

I did manage a workaround however. You turn it on. It turns itself off. You can then hard switch it off using the power switch on the back. Wait a second or two for the light to go off and switch it back on. Power up and the projector will display a picture until you turn it off again. Then you'll have to do this again.

Spider-Man (2002) movie review ★★★★★★★★☆☆

★★★★★ ★★★☆☆
It is good, but it is never great. Willem Dafoe is outstanding when not hidden behind a really poor mask, Maguire is fine and Raimi directs with assured pace.
(comment continues below)

DESCRIPTION
Peter Parker is a slightly awkward normal teenager but when he gets bitten by a genetically-enhanced spider during a class field-trip he develops the super-human abilities that make him a Spider-Man.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Tobey Maguire: Spider-Man / Peter Parker
◦ Willem Dafoe: Green Goblin / Norman Osborn
◦ Kirsten Dunst: Mary Jane Watson
◦ James Franco: Harry Osborn
◦ Cliff Robertson: Ben Parker
◦ Rosemary Harris: May Parker
◦ J.K. Simmons: J. Jonah Jameson
• Writer (Original Comic) Marvel: Stan Lee
• Writer (Original Comic) Marvel: Steve Ditko
• Writer (Screenplay): David Koepp
• Director: Sam Raimi

CONTENT
Mild swear words. Extreme violence, unpleasant scenes. Mild sensuality
Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult..
Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.


(comment continues)

"With great power comes great responsibility"

Director Sam Raimi must have had this thought, repeated multiple times in David Koepp's script, running through his mind over and over as he was given the power to take a much-loved comic-book hero to the big-screen.

Thanks to the success of Bryan Singer's "X-Men" comic book heroes have come back into fashion. Sony entrusted Raimi with a budget like nothing he had received before (even relatively expensive movies such as "Darkman" and "The Quick and the Dead" were very reasonably budgeted). His main technical obstacle was the obviously super-human activities of web-slinging and walking up walls and hanging from ceilings. His main directorial challenge would be to suspend the audience's disbelief. How did he do?

Unfortunately, he appears to stumble at the first hurdle. The opening credits sequence is unimaginative and dull, but the biggest mistake was using a theme obviously composed by Danny Elfman. The reason this is a mistake is because it is highly reminiscent of Elfman's career-best work on Tim Burton's classic super-hero movie "Batman" which also featured a brilliant, moody, innovative and completely classy opening credits sequence. Anyone who has seen [Batman] before this movie will sub-consciously be reminded of that classic.

This sense of déja vu happens on numerous occasions. We get multiple Batman moments and at least one Superman moment. The movie doesn't feel original or new. It feels like it never shows us something we haven't seen before. This is despite the fact that we have never seen (in live action, at least) a man swinging through buildings on web strands.

This sounds very critical but I should now reaffirm that the movie is indeed good, very good. Unlike most of the films it is reminiscent of (and its main summer 2002 competition "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones": Yoda rocks!), this film never has a really great moment. The best thing about Spiderman is Willem Dafoe. His performance as Norman Osborne and The Green Goblin is truly outstanding mixing villainy and humanity with extreme skill. The Thanksgiving dinner he has with Peter, Aunt May, his son and Mary-Jane is just spectacular.

Also the comment regarding Elfman's music may come over as too harsh. After the credit sequence, Elfman does much better and manages to come up with a good Spider-Man theme used at critical moments in the movie to terrific effect.

Swinging :)

• Brilliantly paced


• Willem Dafoe


• Decent story and characterisation

Sticky Mess :(

• Visual effects are not too good until the final (breathtaking) shot


• Sound design is surprisingly flat


• Green Goblin has a rubbish mask which hides Willem Dafoe's mug (a big mistake)


• Two more falling-while-shooting-a-rope-of-safety-skyward superhero rescues, I was fed up with them before the climax of "Batman Forever" (which, incidentally, is completely repeated here)

Recommended Software: Explorer Breadcrumbs

One of the smarter new features of Windows Vista is the replacing of a simple text address bar for local browsing with an address bar where each part of the folder hierarchy is clickable. This allows you to jump quickly and intuitively to a parent folder.

There is a toolbar for Windows Explorer on Windows XP that provides the same functionality. I have used it for a quite a while now and it's recently been updated to remove a couple of bugs. It uses your current theme (and I use WindowBlinds to skin XP entirely) and simply does exactly what it says it will. Thankfully, it also doesn't require a restart of your computer to install.

Explorer Breadcrumbs at Minimalist

The software is fully functional but the following, entirely reasonable, request is made under the Registration / Licence section:

You're free to install this on any number of machines for any amount of time. We ask that if you find this software useful, that you register it for the low low price of $7.95. That's cheaper than seeing a movie, and we'd really appreciate it.

So, for taking up somewhat less room than Vista's hilarious 12Gb install footprint (Explorer Breadcrumbs is only 333kb) and doing exactly what it says on the tin, I recommend Explorer Breadcrumbs.

Well... I clicked it.

I wonder what the most sensationalistic headline possible would be? Here is a contender from the BBC News on BBC.co.uk:

Man cuts off penis in restaurant

The only way this headline could be improved is if you replace "man" with "George Bush" or "The Queen" or something. However, the actual story is rather less impressive than the headline. I had visions of a man coolly laying out his man-meat on a table and removing it with a knife in a Yakuza-like ritual or show of bravado.

Instead:

The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin areas before running back into the restaurant, where he continued to stab himself.

It's clearly a very sad story and very distressing for witnesses and the man himself and the headline is entirely inappropriate... but a guaranteed click.

Expert of the Week: Dr Chris Stanley

Dr Chris Stanley is a mineralogist of London's Natural History Museum and, presumably, he doesn't really want to work there anymore.

Take this story with the eye-catching headline:

'Kryptonite' discoverd in mine

Wow! The article starts by summing things up:

A new mineral matching its unique chemistry - as described in the film Superman Returns - has been identified in a mine in Serbia.

Let me draw your attention to the phrase "matching its unique chemistry". The expert goes on to say:

Towards the end of my research I searched the web using the mineral's chemical formula - sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide - and was amazed to discover that same scientific name, written on a case of rock containing kryptonite stolen by Lex Luther from a museum in the film Superman Returns.

Amazing! He continues:

The new mineral does not contain fluorine (which it does in the film) and is white rather than green but, in all other respects, the chemistry matches that for the rock containing kryptonite.

Hang on. This mineral 'matches the unique chemistry' of movie kryptonite except it "does not contain fluorine". Doesn't the fact that the chemical fluorine is not present in this mineral mean that it does not match the unique chemistry?

So, close but no kryptonite for our expert of the week, Dr Chris Stanley of London's Natural History Museum.

Backwards Compatibility update for PlayStation 3 (v1.7)

As an owner of both Xbox and PlayStation 2 consoles and over twenty games for each, the pre-release news that both Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 would be backwards compatible (in the same brilliant way that PlayStation 2 was fully backwards compatible with PlayStation games) was good news indeed.

PlayStation 3 updated their system firmware to 1.7 this week and, though it isn't mentioned on their official list of fixes and features, some posts included mention that "Gran Turismo 4" was working on PS3. As the PS3 EU BC list hasn't yet been updated with reflect the 1.7 software, I decided to run through all my PlayStation 2 games to see what was what and was delighted to find another third of my games were now playable. Yay!

So here is a summary and list of my games on Xbox and PlayStation 2 and their compatibility with Microsoft's and Sony's shiny new offerings. I've also noted which games I've completed and kept for future nostalgia and replay purposes.

Xbox on Xbox 360

36 games: 13 compatible, 23 not compatible.

Compatible

1. Black
   
2. Brute Force (completed)
   
3. Burnout 3: Takedown
   
4. Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge
   
5. Forza Motorsport
   
6. Halo 2
   
7. Jet Set Radio Future (got as far as I can, I'm stuck on this spider-like boss at the top of some stairs)
   
8. Panzer Dragoon Orta
   
9. Mercenaries
   
10. Quantum Redshift
    
11. Sega GT 2002 (completed)
    
12. Speed Kings
    
13. SSX 3
    

Not Compatible

1. Carve
   
2. Crash
   
3. Crash and Burn
   
4. Furious Karting
   
5. Galleon
   
6. Group S Challenge
   
7. Headhunter Redemption
   
8. Italian Job: LA Heist
   
9. LA Rush
   
10. Mechassault 2
    
11. Midnight Club 3
    
12. Midtown Madness 3
    
13. Paris Dakar Rally 2 (completed)
    
14. Project Gotham Racing (completed)
    
15. Project Gotham Racing 2
    
16. Racing Evoluzione
    
17. Rallisport Challenge 2 (completed)
    
18. Rally Fusion
    
19. R:Racing (nostalgia)
    
20. Test Drive: Overdrive
    
21. Tour De France
    
22. Wreckless (completed on normal)
    
23. XGRA
    

PlayStation / PlayStation 2 on PlayStation 3

22 games: 10 no known issues, 4 minor issues, 3 noticeable issues, 7 not compatible
The second part of each list is games tested by me and ten have improved their status to playable.

No known issues to date

1. Enthusia - Professional Racing
   
2. Kaido Racer
   
3. Ridge Racer V (completed)
   
4. Runabout 3 Neo Age
   
5. TT Superbikes
   

1. Noble Racing 
   
2. Pro Rally 2002 
   
3. Riding Spirits 2  (nostalgia)
   
4. Tokyo Road Race 
   
5. Tourist Trophy 

Should play on PLAYSTATION®3 with some minor issues

1. Gran Turismo 3 A-spec (almost completed)
   

1. Driven to Destruction  (minor frame rate issues)
   
2. Gran Turismo 4  (very minor sound issue in start of opening movie; no 5.1 in opening movie; demonstration replays seem to only sort-of work, the Bentley Speed 8 got stuck in a wall)
   
3. Sled Storm (DTS sound option crashes game) 
   

Should play on PLAYSTATION®3 with noticeable issues

1. Burnout 2: Point of Impact (partially completed) (cars have some areas, including all tail lights and underneath the car, drawn like white headlights though playability appears to be unaffected)
   
2. Grand Prix Challenge  (completed) (now plays at proper speed but massive interlacing artefacts make it extremely ugly)
   
3. WRC: Rally Evolved  (occasional frame rate issue but playable)

Not Compatible

1. CART FURY Championship Racing (confirmed not compatible)
   
2. Downforce (confirmed not compatible)
   
3. Driving Emotion Type-S (completed) (confirmed not compatibke)
   
4. GTC Africa (confirmed not compatible)
   
5. Shox (completed) (confirmed not compatible)
   
6. Stuntman (completed all but last level) (confirmed not compatible)
   
7. WRC II Extreme (completed) (confirmed not compatible)
   

Conclusion

Xbox 360 manages 36% BC but PlayStation 3 storms back into the lead with 77%. There are now only 3 PlayStation 2 games which I haven't played not compatible with the PlayStation 3 taking me one step closer to be able to retire my PS2.

Backwards Compatibility Update for Xbox 360

As an owner of both Xbox and PlayStation 2 consoles and over twenty games for each, the pre-release news that both Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 would be backwards compatible (in the same brilliant way that PlayStation 2 was fully backwards compatible with PlayStation games) was good news indeed.

Today, the BC list for Xbox games on the Xbox 360 was updated. It's nice to see that Microsoft are still working on this, albeit incredibly slowly. 

So here is a summary and list of my games on Xbox and PlayStation 2 and their compatibility with Microsoft's and Sony's shiny new offerings. I've also noted which games I've completed and kept for future nostalgia and replay purposes.

Xbox on Xbox 360

36 games: 13 compatible, 23 not compatible. That's three more compatible titles in this update.

Compatible

1. Black
   
2. Brute Force (completed)
   
3. Burnout 3: Takedown
   
4. Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge
   
5. Forza Motorsport
   
6. Halo 2
   
7. Jet Set Radio Future  (got as far as I can, I'm stuck on this spider-like boss at the top of some stairs)
   
8. Panzer Dragoon Orta 
   
9. Mercenaries 
   
10. Quantum Redshift
    
11. Sega GT 2002 (completed)
    
12. Speed Kings
    
13. SSX 3
    

Not Compatible

1. Carve
   
2. Crash
   
3. Crash and Burn
   
4. Furious Karting
   
5. Galleon
   
6. Group S Challenge
   
7. Headhunter Redemption
   
8. Italian Job: LA Heist
   
9. LA Rush
   
10. Mechassault 2
    
11. Midnight Club 3
    
12. Midtown Madness 3
    
13. Paris Dakar Rally 2 (completed)
    
14. Project Gotham Racing (completed)
    
15. Project Gotham Racing 2
    
16. Racing Evoluzione
    
17. Rallisport Challenge 2 (completed)
    
18. Rally Fusion
    
19. R:Racing (nostalgia)
    
20. Test Drive: Overdrive
    
21. Tour De France
    
22. Wreckless (completed on normal)
    
23. XGRA
    

PlayStation / PlayStation 2 on PlayStation 3

22 games: 5 no known issues, 1 minor issues, 3 noticeable issues, 13 not compatible (including Gran Turismo 4 and Tourist Trophy, grrr)

No known issues to date

1. Enthusia - Professional Racing
   
2. Kaido Racer
   
3. Ridge Racer V (completed)
   
4. Runabout 3 Neo Age
   
5. TT Superbikes
   

Should play on PLAYSTATION®3 with some minor issues

1. Gran Turismo 3 A-spec (almost completed)
   

Should play on PLAYSTATION®3 with noticeable issues

1. Burnout 2: Point of Impact (partially completed)
   
2. Pro Rally 2002
   
3. Tokyo Road Race
   

Not Compatible

1. CART FURY Championship Racing
   
2. Downforce
   
3. Driving Emotion Type-S (completed)
   
4. Gran Turismo 4 (60% completed)
   
5. Grand Prix Challenge (completed)
   
6. GTC Africa
   
7. Noble Racing
   
8. Riding Spirits 2 (nostalgia)
   
9. Shox (completed)
   
10. Sled Storm
    
11. Stuntman (completed all but last level)
    
12. WRC II Extreme (completed)
    
13. WRC: Rally Evolved

Conclusion

The result is now a tie with 36% BC for both PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360.

Google Maps thinks Americans are fat

So, if a New Yorker wishes to visit me in sunny Coventry, England, he may well ask Google Maps the best way to get here. Take a note of item 23...



Are Google Maps inferring that my cross-Atlantic cousin needs more exercise?

Grand Turismo HD Concept 2.0 PlayStation 3 video game review ★★★★★ ★★★☆☆

★★★★★ ★★★☆☆
A generous freebie letting PlayStation 3 owners see what they bought their console for. While it's not exactly worth £425 (the price of a new console at launch), it is comfortably the most satisfying and impressive free download ever offered on any console.



Technically it's lovely with a rock-solid frame-rate, highly convincing graphics (replays are the closest we've ever come to photo-realistic) and sound.

The Gran Turismo handling is present and correct with the first-person view a delight to use thanks to the amount of visual feedback that is delivered. Remarkably, you don't miss rumble at all. Though Gran Turismo was a pioneer of rumble feedback,

don't miss rumble

it's always been the the dipping and leaning of the first-person view that provided all the feedback that makes this series so much better to drive that just about all other driving games. As has been the case with every entry so far, just driving in this game is better than racing, blowing stuff up, using the Force and saving the world in almost all other games.

Gameplay-wise it offers something not found in any Gran Turismo game to date - a dedicated Drift Trial mode - but it would have been nice if target times had been supplied for all the variations in the game (only ten of the sixty time trials have a target time: Time Trial / Normal Cars / Forward direction).

pointlessly easy

Also the ten target times supplied are pointlessly easy. If sixty representative times had been supplied, then there would be absolutely no cause for complaint and the demo would have been much much better. A Gold / Silver / Bronze system would have been the icing on the cake.

That said, it seems rather pernickety to moan about free content. Instead of being challenged by Polyphony Digital you have to content yourself with challenging online times. Generally, these are hilarious but I've set myself the standard of giving myself a Gold with a top 100 provisional ranking. Managed it once so far (best 56th) and, frankly, rather pleased with that.

With it being a downloaded game, it is always on your PlayStation 3 ready for five minutes here (which always turns into half-an-hour) without needing to find the game disc.



Please note: the bestest free download ever is "Trackmania Nations ESWC Edition" which was an unlimited, uncrippled full free game and, currently, the greatest online racer ever. It was supplied as part of the Electronic Sports World Cup in 2006.

Creative Brilliance

While writing my previous post about a Creative bug I found an even better one.

I was watching a DVD when I started to write the post. I had sound. I paused the DVD and started writing.

While writing the post I opened the Control Panel windows to make sure I was getting the names right. I then closed and canceled my way back out. I changed nothing.

I went to continue watching the DVD... and my digital output was disabled. Brilliant.

Creative X-FI Digital I/O Quirk on Windows XP

Creative products have always been a little, well, quirky (the less charitable might say buggy). Which seems odd for the world's largest and most expensive consumer soundcard manufacturer.

Quirks like undistorted 5.1 sound not being available in otherwise reference quality racing game "Flatout 2". Or never having a digital optical or coax out. Or insisting that you must use their fairly cheap cable to connect your £200 sound card to your expensive multi-channel amplifier.

I bought myself a Creative X-FI along with the digital I/O module. I use a multi-channel connection for gaming and music and the digital optical output on the I/O module for DVD's. I should mention that I am thrilled with the sound quality on the card. It is a distinct pleasure to listen to music or be surrounded by detailed sound effects in games that support it.

The quirk

Whenever the machine is restarted, the digital output doesn't work. Therefore, if I play a DVD in PowerDVD I get no sound from either the digital output (which PowerDVD is trying to use) or the multichannel output (because PowerDVD is attempting to use digital output).

The Fix

The fix is to go into Control Panel -> Sounds and Audio Devices -> Volume: Advanced. From the Playback volume window select Play Control -> Advanced then uncheck and recheck "Enable Digital IO". Close, close, OK. Digital IO is now restored.

The solution is simple enough but why should I have to perform it? Especially as Creative stack my startup sequence with so-called 'helper' utilities that never explain what they do or why they should be left running.

Stuntman PlayStation 2 video game review ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆
Reflections take a genius game design (a mission-based driving action game which is NOT violent) and wraps it up in a cruel package which delivers exhilarating rewards but is more likely to make you want to cry and stab your PlayStation 2 to death. With two stunt sequences left in the game and an urge to throw the PS2 controller only just resisted, I had to retire.

CONTENT
Classified OK 11+ by ELSPA. Content OK 11+.




Indicative of the meanness of this game is the fact that the director has the same voice clip for a successful scene and an unsuccessful scene. He simply says "Cut" in a rather unimpressed voice. Surely, for a successful scene it would have been nicer for him to say "That's a wrap. Great work." or something.

Here's another one. The director calls out instructions. However, he doesn't call them all out. For example, in the Bond-alike movie "Live Twice For Tomorrow" you are tasked with "Get close and overtake on the right". You do that and he promptly fails the take for not staying ahead of the helicopter. This is needlessly, sadistically cruel.

Another item on "Live Twice for Tomorrow" tells you to overtake on the right but there's always been a car in the way every time I've attempted it. He then tells you to overtake on the left but the icon turns red (indicating stunt failure) before you even get there.

How about invisible scenery? In the Indiana Jones-alike movie, you bash two trucks out of the way in order to tackle a jump. But there is a piece of invisible scenery on the right of the road so if you head down there your car will crumple up as if you'd just driven into a concrete block. On that movie's Temple Trap level there is a rock which is much wider than it's graphic. Not quite as bad as invisible scenery is scenery which you can get caught on way too easily. The worst culprit here is roadside kerbs. Sometimes you can ride them. Sometimes it will throw your car up in the air removing your control and destroying the take. This isn't different kerbs on different kerbs, this is the same kerb on the same level. A kerb you ride a few times may end the take the next time. Also this is a game where you have to snick through tight spaces, yet the game designers thought it would be fun to put tiny little jutty-out bits of scenery, added detail and flavour presumably. These simply shouldn't exist.

The other vehicles in the game are also unfair. They speed up into you and never avoid an accident with you. Aren't they supposed to be highly trained stunt drivers aswell? It is anachronistic for them to keep causing accidents.

The handling of the car is a sore point. You can never quite get used to it because Reflections have kept a little invention from the "Driver 2" PlayStation game: the automatic handbrake. This means that sometimes when you turn strongly left or right, the handbrake is automatically applied making for a more spectacular cornering style. Unfortunately, it is not consistent and you never know when the auto-handbrake is going to be applied. Because it is always a surprise, your car always ends up facing in completely the wrong direction whenever it is applied. Take the same corner twice and once you'll understeer, once your car will spin around. In "Driver 2" this 'feature' could be disabled, making the game playable (in fact, most negative reviews of that game were clearly conducted by people who left the auto-handbrake enabled). Here there is no choice. You have random cornering ability whether you want it or not.

In fact, this is largely a game where none of the sharp bits were sanded down and, as such, reflect a game that is not finished and where such important gameplay details were simply not considered as important as Atari and Reflections bank balance.

The game also suffers from technical issues with the occasional ugly popping of textures (textures that are blurry and become clearer when you get closer but you shouldn't be able to spot when the game does this) and, much more critically, frame rate fluctuations. These fluctuations normally occur at the absolute worst time. For example, one occurs as you attempt to land a motorbike and sidecar on a very small temple rooftop making an already tricky stunt significantly harder.

Outside of the entirely brilliant premise there are some other things that the game does well. Probably the most notable of these is the trailers for the movies you film the stunt sequences for. Brilliantly, these trailers feature your actual stuntwork, not a pre-rendered or pre-driven sequence. For example, of the "Dukes of Hazzard"-style movie, I missed a chimney during a jump and that miss was in the trailer. Likewise on the Bangkok thriller Blood Oath, a bizarre but successful landing of mine was in the trailer. This is an exceptional detail, great appreciated.

Largely speaking, the replays are good and generally make your driving and stuntwork look better than it felt or did while performing the stunt.

This is such a missed opportunity, it is so close to greatness that it is upsetting. The Stuntman franchise is getting a belated sequel in 2007 but Reflections are not involved at all and, sadly, that may be a good thing.

Good Superfi

Had a much nicer experience with Superfi this week than with the repair / replacement of my projector. I was having an issue with 1080p output of the PlayStation 3 with certain content (specifically, Gran Turismo HD Concept 2.0) whereby the picture would go blank for a second or two frequently. The issue doesn't occur on 720p or 1080i output (as set in the PS3 system menu).

My PS3 is plugged into a receiver and the projector is plugged into that. The problem doesn't occur when the projector is plugged directly into the PS3 and so the HDMI cable linking the PS3 and receiver was the obvious culprit. I was using a £10 HDMI cable bought off eBay which had functioned perfectly with an upscaling Denon DVD player at 1080p but which I figured was having dramas here. So I purchased a £50 QED HDMI cable from Superfi and explained the situation to them.

However, using this more expensive cable made no difference whatsoever (as it turns out the problem is reported on the web and is generally thought to be a PS3 HDCP quirk). Superfi agreed to take the cable back and refund the price without any hassle at all. Indeed, in this instance, dealing with them has been a distinct pleasure.

Grand Prix Challenge PlayStation 2 video game review ★★★★★★★★☆☆

★★★★★ ★★★☆☆
Challenging and very good-looking PlayStation 2 Formula One game whose only real deficiency comes on the hardest AI difficulty levels where you will probably notice the computer opponents have an unfair advantage or two. However, you can mostly play around that to enjoy the genuine challenge and thrill of the best Formula One game on the PlayStation 2.

Critically, the handling is predictable and learnable but challenging and satisfying once it starts coming together. It's very easy to drive fast on the Intermediate handling level but there is more to learn on the Expert handling level. Most of the game lets you choose both the AI difficulty and the handling level. The cars feel like they can corner and accelerate in an astonishing manner which is at it should be.

The cars feel like they can corner and accelerate in an astonishing manner

A number of F1 games have made the cars too twitchy to drive and made them impossible to accelerate while exiting corners. They claim this is realistic and accurate but "tosh!" to that. Anyone can see how F1 cars drive by watching them every couple of weeks on their television. You never see F1 drivers struggling to drive in a straight line like you do in a lot of so-called simulations. You don't see them creeping around 150mph corners and waiting to get the car back on to a straight before nervously stroking the throttle. No, they barrel around corners, leave braking unbelievably late and stand on the throttle any chance they get. Grand Prix Challenge gets this handling down and couples it to a nice sense of speed. At times, you can't believe just how fast you can take a corner if you get everything right, it seems to take entire seconds off your lap time.

It reminded me a bit of the F1 car in "Gran Turismo 3: A-spec". During the game you thought you were driving some high performance cars, and you were. But the F1 car was something else. It's acceleration was a bit better but the braking and cornering were absolutely astonishing. It's performance was modeled just as accurately as the other cars in the game and the difference between even the full race specification sports cars and the F1 car was night and day. A F1 car is a special car, even among race cars. Grand Prix Challenge successfully makes this game feel entirely different to touring car, sports car and other racing games.

F1 brake engineers ... would be making their brakes out of grass instead of that stupid carbon fibre rubbish.

There are many F1 and sim-racing fans who might not be as happy with the driving model as me. It is accessible, easy to learn, and moderately challenging to get good at. It is also fun to drive. This game also doesn't employ the standard F1 game tactic of a number of switchable driving aids that Geoff Crammond introduced in "Formula One Grand Prix" (aka "World Circuit") and that everybody else copied. It's simply easy to learn and fun to master. One last note regarding the driving model is one that is, again, common to a number of driving games. Why does grass slow you down faster than standing on the brakes? Clearly, F1 brake engineers haven't spotted this. If they had, they would be making their brakes out of grass instead of that stupid carbon fibre rubbish.

This is a racing game which demands concentration and commitment and delivers greater psychological rewards because of it. For example, after being somewhat humiliated in my first race at the game's default medium difficulty I decided to practice and qualify for the following round. I qualified 6th and had a most enjoyable race, getting up to second position by the end of lap two (of five) then taking the lead on lap four. I couldn't relax for the last lap as Schumacher was right on my tail but I held my concentration and won the race. I was delighted.

Collision detection translates to a box around the cars and, while this may not be accurate, it does mean that you can enjoy more argy-bargy with the opposition than is normal in an open wheel racing game and you won't get your wheels interlocked (a common but rubbish occurrence on even the best open wheel racing games).

ups the fun factor

This makes the game more fun because you can get into the action without being certain than any overtaking maneuvre will end your race. The damage is also very forgiving allow you to bump and jostle much much more than in other open wheel racing games before it starts to have a serious impact on your performance. Again, this ups the fun factor and is a good thing.

However, the difficulty balance and gameplay illusions starts to unravel slightly the better you become.

The computer cars are constantly jostling among themselves meaning that, most commendably, they don't finish in the same order every time you race. They are very aggressively tuned meaning that there is lots of overtaking of you and by you and plenty of action in your race.

...the game cheats...

This is fine but the game cheats badly with the computer cars to make it happen. Now these are my observations and they may not be technically accurate if you ask the programmers but it is how things appear while racing.

AI cars are not affected by the surface they are driving on whether it is tarmac, grass or gravel. AI cars do not appear to be affected by tyre wear. AI cars cannot have their speed altered by you hitting them or by you being on the fastest racing line. AI cars do not experience lateral G-forces on their car meaning they can overtake you even if you weave in front of them (in fact, an AI car can rub along one side of your car and then instantly overtake you on the other). AI cars are not slowed down by driving into the side of you, in fact, you car slows down if it touches an AI car, even if the AI car touches from behind. When an AI car touches you your tyres lose a lot of grip (meaning you cannot brake, steer or accelerate as desired) but theirs are not affected. Slamming into the back of an AI car under braking makes no difference to the AI cars speed or line. AI cars jostling for position do not slow each other down because their speed is not affected by their adherence to the racing line. AI cars will almost always have enough speed to move back in front of you completing an overtake no matter how long or short a straight is. This means that you will frequently smash into the back of them as they slam their car in front of you and stand on the brakes.

Even on Intermediate AI, this cheating is apparent but a bit of practice can make you largely fast enough to compensate but on Hard AI…

This is probably most notable on Monza where the computer cars always go around corners faster than you and accelerate down the straights faster than you. They also bump you off line without impacting their own speed or line; in fact, they can bump you off line and go around you on a gravel trap without any problem whatsoever. No matter what downforce / gear ratio I used I couldn't match their acceleration or corning ability on this track. In the end, I was forced to cheat (by cutting the first chicane and not overtaking anyone) just to remain competitive. This gave me a handful of laps that were three seconds faster than the pole position time and, on those laps, the lead computer cars still hauled in my dishonest advantage (it gains you about five seconds) and drove right by me. Dispiriting is not the word. Cheating is. Racing on Monza on Hard AI / Expert handling is not a fun experience. Not even a little bit.

At a lot of the circuits outside of Monza, you can tune your car, practice, get pole position and, largely, keep a podium position or victory with a clean enjoyable race. On Hard AI / Expert handling I have

...enjoyed a number of thrilling races...

enjoyed a number of thrilling races at most of the circuits but if you ever get caught back in the pack or even by a couple of the top three it is not uncommon to find yourself getting pushed off the racing line and then watching the AI cars consistently re-overtake you regardless of how fast a lap you put in.

That said, regarding Monza, if you are competing in a World Championship on Hard AI / Expert handling things do balance themselves out because the AI are rubbish on the Hungaroring. You could probably drive around in your own real car and beat them.

AI cheating is unacceptable...

This AI cheating is unacceptable though commonplace in games. Your opponents should have the same circumstances as the player. Even though AI drivers don't literally drive around in a car modeled like the player, it should represent as close an approximation as is possible and things like track surface should always, always, always be taken into account. That said, graphics sell games and Grand Prix Challenge has lovely smooth graphics. In this case, it has been at the expense of fair AI opponents.

Staying out of the way of the computer opponents is critical to performing well on the Hard AI setting. After having my posterior posted to me upon trying the Championship with Hard AI and Intermediate handling, it was with some trepidation that I hit the Blue Skies Grand Prix Challenge where you are forced to play against Hard AI with Expert handling. Now it took me a good number of laps to figure out but the Expert handling employs a pretty significantly different physics model for your car, one where your setup has a more complex effect. For example, in Intermediate handling, altering Downforce basically gave you car more speed and acceleration with only minor effects on cornering noticeable at the extreme ends of the available settings. In Expert handling, the downforce also massively affected stopping ability and cornering ability. Once you realise that this is a whole different game and that you have to learn new, slightly earlier, braking points, you can get back up to speed but it is a significant and surprising change as you move from the one handling level to the next.

I put some time into the Blue Skies Grand Prix Challenge, performing better each time (qualified on pole for my last two attempts) and finally, after abandoning my hard tyres, long stint tactic, tried the race on soft tyres and just eked them out to the pit stop and then to the end of the race. I won the race and was elated. My heart was in my helmet for the last few corners even though I had built up a twelve-second lead. As I exited the last corner and straightened the car for the finish line, I put my left (steering) hand in the air with a triumphant single finger of victory. Number One! Yay! Just got to do it again, now…

Grey Skies Challenge was not one I was looking forward but, thankfully, the game's wet weather handling doesn't make the track an ice-rink (as it does in most racing games) and gives you the impression that you are driving a car with immense grip (provided you stack the downforce on in your car setup).

Agreeably, records are maintained no matter which mode you are in. I do find it stupid that you often find that your best times (which will have happened in a full blown race / qualifying most likely) are not listed in the Records page of most racing games. Usually, these pages only list the times achieved in the dedicated Time Trial mode. Which is stupid. In this game, the records page has just that: the records for the game.

We have a small but rewarding innovation in the mini-game in the pitstop.

rewarding innovation... mini-game in the pitstop

Here you have to select your strategy, then press the accelerate button to fill up a bar. Depending on how much you fill this bar, another bar then appears and gets smaller. The fuller the first bar, the faster the second bar shrinks. You then press the accelerate button to stop the second bar shrinking. The closer the second bar is to half-size the faster your pit stop will go. You can gain up to a highly satisfying and potentially critical four seconds. The best I've done in race conditions is about 3.8 seconds.

Another nice touch is that the game automatically picks up whether your PlayStation 2 is in Widescreen mode or not. This happens so infrequently that it is a slightly bemusing surprise when it happens.

Sound effects are very good with the only downer being that they are not in surround sound. However, the cars have powerful screaming (but not annoying) engine tones and the audio feedback is consistently accurate and helpful. Your car sound effect changes as you change driving view placing more and less emphasis on the exhaust note as you move from inside the car to outside the car. Also impressive are the environmental sound effects with crowds that ooh, aah and cheer depending on what you are doing. Wheel-to-wheel action, off-road excursions, overtaking and crossing the finish line deliver gratifying crowd feedback. Impressively, this only seems to happen when you are actually in view of a crowd.

This is a really nice effect that I wish would become a standard feature in racing game audio.

This is a really nice effect that I wish would become a standard feature in racing game audio. At Suzuka you can hear the fun of the fair when you pass. At Monaco you get seagulls. There are also loudspeaker announcers at each circuit.

Speaking of Suzuka, it is noted with great delight that the fairground is animated. The Ferris Wheel is turning and the gravity drop ride goes up and drops. I couldn't quite see as I passed at 160mph whether there were cars going around the roller coasters. This is an appropriate point to mention that the crowds are generally very well done. There are flags waving (sometimes different flags, on one track I was using a Scotland flag as a braking point, next time I played it wasn't there!), camera flashes being fired and the occasional coloured smoke flare being set off. Animated marshalls would have been nice but there are no marshalls on these tracks at all. (Flag status is shown via an icon at the top of the screen.)

The developers claim that the game runs at a constant 60 frames-per-second and this gives the game super-smooth motion. The frame rate does wibble briefly if you look backwards or change view but during normal gameplay I was very impressed by the graphical sheen on the game. Each team is individually modeled meaning that the Ferrari car looks very different from the Orange car, for example, not just in decoration but in shape. This is a great detail. All the camera views are all highly usable. There are five: Nose (no part of the car is visible, like "Gran Turismo"'s default view), Driver (where you can see your hands and steering wheel, the view I used), T-bar (like you generally get on the television), Close Behind and Far Behind. The game sometimes remembers your favoured view.

There are some graphical grumbles but these are all very minor and were probably sacrificed to get the more important smooth frame rate. Your driver isn't animated for gear changes but his head does wobble at high speeds. There is very minor graphical damage in the game. Your rear wing can appear crooked and the front and rear wings can come off. You can knock tyres off and make them wobbly but all this takes some doing. There are no pit crews. There are no marshalls. The onboard driving views and close behind view seem to make your car feel larger than it is. In these views your car generally feels a little under half the width of the track. In the replay and far behind view the car appears to be correctly proportioned and is generally about a quarter or a fifth the width of the track. Interestingly, this is something that affects most racing games and it doesn't affect the gameplay too badly here. In fact, you probably wouldn't notice it unless some pedantic twit pointed it out.

In conclusion,

outstanding

the only real thing knocking a star or two off is the cheating AI but, as I said, this is only noticeable on the hardest difficulty settings and can largely be driven around. Otherwise, this is an outstanding F1 game and a outstanding racing game. It is fun, thrilling and satisfying to play.

I purchased this in 2007 after discovering it while looking for reviews for the PlayStation 3 title "Formula One Championship Edition". I didn't even know the game existed but as soon as the review mentioned the developers Melbourne House I went out and bought it. Melbourne House were responsible for one of my favourite racing games "Le Man 24 Hours" on the Dreamcast, a game which I gladly completed and even raced and enjoyed a full 24-hour race (it took me ten or so days!).

Zaphs unofficial Grand Prix Challenge Page

Dry Setups

Common: Soft tyres, Brake Balance 7

A1 Ring: Downforce 9. Gear Box Ratio 2, Suspension 10
Barcelona: Downforce 7, Gear Box Ratio 3, Suspension 9
Hockenheim: Downforce 9. Gear Box Ratio 2, Suspension 10
Imola: Downforce 11, Gear Box Ratio 1, Suspension 9
Magny Cours: Downforce 6, Gear Box Ratio 3, Suspension 9
Monte Carlo: Downfroce 11, Gear Box Ratio 1, Suspension 8
Montreal: Downforce 7, Gear Box Ratio 3, Suspension 9
Monza: Donwforce 4, Gear Box Ratio 9, Suspension 9 (not good setup)
Nurburgring: Downforce 9, Gear Box Ratio 2, Suspension 10

Wet Setups

Common: Wet tyres, Brake Balance 7

Sepang: Downforce 11, Gear Box Ratio 3, Suspension 8
Silverstone: Downforce 11, Gear Box Ratio 2, Suspension 8

Best PlayStation 3 offer ever!

Looking around at the various offers on PlayStation 3 consoles just one week after launch and spotted this on the Amazon.co.uk product page.

Product Promotions: Save £0.02 when you spend £100,000.00 or more on Qualifying Items offered by Amazon.co.uk.

Yes folks, that's a whole two pence saving. All you have to do is spend £100,000 and no pence. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of stuff available for just 2p.



With two pence you could buy, for example, just over 8½ seconds of Casino Royale on Blu-Ray.
Bargain!

Liam stops jiggling...

Yahoo have updated their Liam animation for their excellent Yahoo mail web application but it now makes him look like a creepy transvestite.

A Shot in the Dark movie review ★★★★★★★★★☆

A Shot in the Dark DVD capture gallery

★★★★★ ★★★★☆
One of the funniest films ever made.
(comment continues below)

DESCRIPTION
Investigating the apparently straightforward murder of a chauffeur, hapless Detective Inspector Jacques Clouseau believes the beautiful maid, Maria, to be innocent even though she was found in a locked room with the victim and murder weapon (a gun) still smoking in her hand. Through dogged persistance, hilarious disguises, another 13 murders and 6 attempts on his own life, Clouseau sets out to prove his case.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Peter Sellers: Inspector Jacques Clouseau
◦ Elke Sommer: Maria Gambrelli
• Writer (Screenplay): Blake Edwards
• Writer (Screenplay): William Peter Blatty
• Writer (Original Stage Play): Harry Kurnitz
• Writer (Original Play): Marcel Achard
• Director: Blake Edwards

CONTENT
Adult dialogue. Slightly gory and unpleasant scenes. Mild but extensive nudity, mild sensuality
Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.


(comment continues)


The first place to start discussing this movie is in a stack of classic sequences. The pool game scene, the nudist colony sequence, the final reveal, the oft-repeated trip to the police station.

The throwaway gag lines in this movie are also right out of the top drawer, better than most other comedy films out-and-out gags. "This pen has been fired recently", "Yes, it is my coat", "Would you kill somebody who tore your dress off?", "Goodbye my darl... er, Miss Gambrelli", "Then I submit, Inspector Balon, that you arrived home, found Miguel with Maria Gambrelli and killed him in a rit of fealous jage!", "Ah, that would be for me."

Clouseau's philosophies on life are staggeringly funny. On being told he may die of pneumonia: "Yes, yes, I probably will. But it's all part of life's rich pageant, y'know. We police have to put up with a lot of things in the course of our duties that in private life we probably wouldn't tolerate." On police investigative technique: "Well, you see in the police force, first we presume, then we find out." On prison: "Prison is bad enough without uncomfortable furniture." or "You can't have a contemporary prison without, er, contemporary furniture." On the identity of the murderer: "I suspect everyone" (which, as it turns out, is pretty much the case). On billiards: "Yes, I prefer the good old-fashioned playing cue." On whether he would kill for chief murder suspect Maria Gambrelli: "Of course!... erm, not." On being invited to examine the body of the victim: "I would be delighted!"

His unbelievable trouble with doors from the first movie continues. He gets dumped out of a first-floor window by one door, gets smashed in the face by his bathroom swing door, fails to notice chief murder suspect Maria being brought into his office via his own office door and puts his hand through the glass panel on another. He also has a problem with his hat when he examines the murder scene.

The cast is excellent. Sellers has never been better as the bumbling Inspector, thoroughly charming in his clumsy infatuation with Elke Sommers easy-to-be-infatuated-by murder suspect. Awesome support from the ever-brilliant George Sanders (as millionaire Monsieur Balon) adds to the melting pot and Graham Stark (as Hercule) makes the first of his regular Blake Edwards movie appearances.

Also of note, is the introduction of new regular characters, usually the most difficult aspect of sequels. Burt Kwouk as Cato, Clouseau's manservant. A menacing fight sequence turns into high comedy when the phone rings and Clouseau's mysterious assailant, Cato, interrupts his attack to answer politely. Best of all, Herbert Lom as Chief Inspector Dreyfuss who progressively loses his sanity throughout the movie and boasts marvellous nervous afflictions such as the twitching eye and the alarming propensity to stab himself and chop parts of his body off.

Grief, I nearly forgot to mention the music. Remarkably there is no trace of Mancini's Pink Panther score and the entirely new music he composed including the opening song and the opening theme music is, frankly, a masterpiece.

This is the strongest addition to the Pink Panther series which has no apparent flaws. One of the funniest films ever made.

Expert of the Week: BBC.co.uk News

While certainly not wanting to make light of the murder of Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer, I noted with some amusement the latest report headline on the BBC News.

Woolmer police 'eliminate no-one'

The reporter isn't credited on BBC.co.uk but someone should tell him, a murder investigation eliminating no-one is not exactly news. Even better, the report goes on to say this:

"Police in Jamaica investigating the murder of Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer say no-one has been eliminated from their enquiry.

But deputy police commissioner Mark Shields told the UK Times newspaper there were no prime suspects."

Now the reason I found this funny was because it reminded me of another quote by a very famous French detective. When asked what he believed about the case he was working on he stated:

"I believe everything and I believe nothing. I suspect everyone and I suspect no one."

The name of this famous French detective: Detective Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

Castle in the Sky (aka Laputa) movie review ★★★★★★★★☆☆

Castle In The Sky DVD capture gallery

★★★★★ ★★★☆☆
Animated epic (two hours long) from Japanese genius Hayao Miyazaki which is entertaining, delightful, surprising, thrilling, spectacular and brilliant from start to end. It occasionally loses the viewer with regard to the plot but that is its only weakness. Eight stars feels a bit mean but, I think, it is the right rating and that is an must-see eight stars.
(comment continues below)

DESCRIPTION
Pazu rescues an unconscious girl descending from the night sky with a glowing pendant around her neck. He helps the girl, Sheeta, to escape from the air pirates and the military who are obsessed with Laputa, a legendary kingdom on a floating island in the sky with which Sheeta is suspected of being connected.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Mayumi Tanaka: Pazu
◦ Keiko Yokozawa: Sheeta
• Writer (Original Story): Hayao Miyazaki
• Writer (Screenplay): Hayao Miyazaki
• Director: Hayao Miyazaki

CONTENT
. Violence, some strong violence, some comic violence.
Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.


(comment continues)


The production design and artwork is unforgettable and is brilliantly animated. Especially telling are the number of small touches throughout which we may not see but add to the illusion. Things such as a plank flexing when Pazu catches Sheeta at the beginning and many more details that I cannot remember or didn't see all tell of the care of this undertaking.

While most people were introduced to anime through the impenetrable "Akira" or "Ghost in the Shell", this movie is timeless and accessible. This is not just a great Japanese animation movie, it is a great movie.

Batman Begins mini movie review ★★★★★★★★★☆

★★★★★ ★★★★☆
Quality return to form for the winged super-hero franchise. It hits highs (two of Batman's lines: "It's not what I am underneath, it's what I do that defines me" and "And you'll never have to" both made even cooler by Batman leaping off a building as a punctuation mark) nearly as high as Tim Burton's "Batman" but it doesn't have a Kim Basinger subplot that doesn't work and remains terrific throughout. Now there are four classic superhero movies: "Superman (1978)" remains the benchmark but this fits right in with "Batman (1989)" and "X2 (2003)".

DESCRIPTION
Billionaire Bruce Wayne, traumatized by the murder of his parents when he was a child, drops everything in the face of a humiliating realization about his lack of understanding of the 'real world'. He disappears, presumed dead by everyone in Gotham, and is taken under the wing of Ra's Al Ghul who heads up the League of Shadows, an underground organization devoted to ridding the world of injustice. Finding kinship and understanding, Wayne welcomes the training and both look forward to cleansing Gotham of evil.

PEOPLE CREDITS
• Director: Christopher Nolan
• Writer (Screenplay): Christopher Nolan
• Writer (Screenplay): David S. Goyer
• Writer (Story): David S. Goyer
• Writer (Characters' Creator) Batman: Bob Kane
◦ Christian Bale: Bruce Wayne / Batman
◦ Michael Caine: Alfred
◦ Liam Neeson: Ducard
◦ Morgan Freeman: Lucius Fox

CONTENT
. Extreme violence, scary scenes.
Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult..

Alias Season One television review ★★★★★★★★★☆

★★★★★ ★★★★☆

This is a classic season of television entertainment that wows with enthusiastic performances bringing an ambitious and frequently imaginative story to the screen.

The highlight of every episode is Kevin Weisman as Marshall.

There now follows star ratings, plot, cast and mini review for all episodes of this season. Due to the nature of the show, this information will unavoidably contain SIGNIFICANT SPOILERS.

1.01 Truth Be Told ★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

The cast and story are good but series creator J.J. Abrams' direction is uncharismatic. However, this is much better watching it after seeing the series through.

DESCRIPTION
On the surface Sydney Bristow is a bright, athletic and vivacious grad student. Secretly... she works for SD-6, a top-secret division of the CIA. After agreeing to marry boyfriend Danny, she is sent on assignment but it is the start of a few days that will turn her life upside-down.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Edward Atterton: Danny Hecht
◦ Jay Gerber: Professor Mizzy
◦ Angus Scrimm: Agent McCullough
◦ William Wellman, Jr.: Priest
◦ Ric Young: Taiwanese Torturer
• Writer: J.J. Abrams
• Director: J.J. Abrams

CONTENT
. Violence, gory and unpleasant scenes. Inferred nudity, sensual scenes
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.02 So it Begins ★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

First time around, this is stronger than the pilot but, again, key story-telling elements are fluffed and the audience is left working out what was supposed to have happened.

DESCRIPTION
Sydney starts life as a double-agent but soon finds herself at the wrong end of a nuclear weapon and Sloane has a surprise up his sleeve.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Evan Dexter Parke: Charlie
◦ Aharon Ipale: Aninni Hassan
◦ Alex Kuz: Shcherbakov
◦ Ravil Isyanov: Karpachev
◦ Sarah Shahi: Jenny
• Writer: J.J. Abrams
• Director: Ken Olin

CONTENT
. Strong violence.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.03 Parity ★★★★★ ★★★☆☆

Much, much better. This episode delivers on the promise of the series concept and lead actress. You'll also be hooked and will be needing to free up an hour a week for the next five months.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Evan Dexter Parke: Charlie
◦ Gina Torres: Anna
◦ Aharon Ipale: Hassan
◦ Keone Young: Professor Choy
◦ Elaine Kagan:
◦ Mark Rolston: Lambert
• Writer: Alex Kurtzman
• Writer: Roberto Orci
• Director: Mikael Salomon

CONTENT
. Strong violence.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.04 Broken Heart, A ★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

Another good episode though the supposedly criminal SD-6 organization seem to be doing good. Jennifer Garner is getting better as she goes on.

DESCRIPTION
Sydney is still struggling to get closer to her father. Meanwhile, her role as double agent for SD-6 and the CIA is continuing to be challenging and not a little confusing. After getting the 500-year-old code in cooperation with enemy agent Anna from K-Directorate, further globe-trotting reveals the existence of a terrorist plot to plant a bomb inside the person of an above-reproach humanitarian representative.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Miguel Sandoval:
◦ Gina Torres: Anna
◦ Evan Dexter Parke: Charlie
◦ Faran Tahir:
◦ Maurice Chasse:
◦ Bernard White:
◦ Angus Scrimm: Agent McCullough
◦ Sarah Shahi: Jenny
• Writer: Vanessa Taylor
• Director: Harry Winer

CONTENT
Mild swear words. Extreme violence, medical scenes.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.05 Doppelganger ★★★★★ ★★★☆☆

With at least three double agents swanning about and a whole stack of story strands, this is a thrilling, packed episode with an explosive climax.

DESCRIPTION
After discovering the presence of a bomb inside respected humanitarian Patel, Sydney and Dixon kidnap him and prepare to extract the device while being pursued by the trigger man. When Sydney returns to America, she is given the CIA file on her father. SD6's next assignment involves helping high-ranking German bio-weapons expert Jeroen Schiller with safe passage to America. The CIA twist is that they will extract Schiller first, then get Sydney to escort an FBI agent posing as Schiller to America. Meanwhile, Will has discovered that Danny was booked on a plane to Singapore with a woman named Kate Jones.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Tom Everett: C.I.A. Agent Paul Kelvin
◦ Norbert Weisser: Iuron Schiller
◦ Lori Heuring: Kate Jones
◦ Maurice Chasse:
• Writer: Daniel Arkin
• Director: Ken Olin

CONTENT
Mild swear words. Extreme violence, medical scenes, extremely unpleasant scene.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.06 Reckoning, The ★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

DESCRIPTION
Sydney is still shell-shocked after the death of four CIA agents on her last mission for SD-6, deaths she was supposed to prevent but was powerless to do so. When she gets back to America to learns that an agent responsible for investigating possible Russian double-agents was involved in the car accident that killed her mother. SD-6's next operation sees Sydney and Bristow attempting to recover an encoding device used by a rival organization.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ John Hannah: Shepard
◦ Nancy Dussault:
◦ Evan Dexter Parke: Charlie
◦ Lori Heuring: Kate Jones / Eloise Kurtz
◦ Eugene Lazarev: Dr. Kreshnik
◦ Sarah Shahi: Jenny
◦ Maurice Godin: SD-6 Agent Fisher / "Dr. Fontanetta"
• Writer: Jesse Alexander
• Director: Daniel Attias

CONTENT
. Extreme violence, gory and unpleasant scene.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.07 Color-Blind ★★★★★ ★☆☆☆☆

A lack of plot means that this episode is not up to the thrilling level of the previous few but sometimes a breather is just what you need.

DESCRIPTION
Sydney is trapped in the psychiatric hospital at the mercy of her K-Directorate captors. She still needs to extract the information in Shepard's head but he won't trust her until he can work out where he's seen her before. Meanwhile, back in America, Jack is upset that his FBI file had been pulled by Vaughn and shown to Sydney while Sloane is regaining control of SD-6's unauthorised computer leaks.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ John Hannah: Shepard
◦ Evan Dexter Parke: Charlie
◦ Elaine Kagan: L.A. Register Editor June Litvack
◦ Eugene Lazarev: Dr. Kreshnik
◦ Sarah Shahi: Jenny
• Writer: Roberto Orci
• Writer: Alex Kurtzman
• Director: Jack Bender

CONTENT
. Extreme violence, unpleasant torture scenes.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.08 Time Will Tell ★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

Frequently thrilling.

DESCRIPTION
Sloane instigates procedures to root out the mole he suspects has infiltrated SD-6, ie., Sydney. Meanwhile, Sydney is sent on a mission to recover another Rambaldi invention, this time a clock which, when retrieved, seems to have a large number of superfluous parts. K-Directorate always seem to be one step behind but that won't last forever. At home, every time Will's conscience distances him from investigating further into the mysterious Kate Jones and her relevance to the death of Sydney's fiancée, some further tit-bit of information drags him back in. Little does he know that if he does find anything concrete, it will cost him his life.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Tobin Bell: Mr. Dryer
◦ Gina Torres: Anna Espinosa
◦ Robert Clendenin: Kostia Bergman
◦ Peter Dennis:
◦ Keone Young: Professor Choy
◦ Elaine Kagan:
◦ Jack Axelrod:
• Writer: Jeff Pinkner
• Director: Perry Lang

CONTENT
Mild swear words. Extreme violence.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.09 Mea Culpa ★★★★★ ★★★☆☆

Very strong episode with the audience kept on their toes as the try to predict, mostly unsuccessfully, the fate of our favourite female spy, Sydney Bristow.

DESCRIPTION
Sydney survives her brush with K-Directorate's Anna but loses the Rambaldi book. Dixon is not so lucky, he is shot and seriously wounded. The only way to save his life is for Sydney to use her emergency CIA satellite phone to get him air-lifted to safety. Dixon was drifting in and out of consciousness but did he hear her? Meanwhile, back in the SD-6 office, Sloane is arguing with security interrogator Mr. Dryer over Sydney's perfect test results: Dryer's intuition says she is a double-agent, Sloane says she cannot be. Her next mission involves making sure that SD-6 manage to get hold of some US Government seized funds which have been stolen back by their original owner. The CIA want Sydney to comply but to retrieve the account numbers so that the money can be traced across the planet.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Miguel Sandoval: Anthony Russek
◦ Tobin Bell: Mr. Dryer
◦ Timothy Landfield:
◦ Christopher Thornton:
• Writer: Debra J. Fisher
• Writer: Erica Messer
• Director: Ken Olin

CONTENT
. Extreme violence, gory and unpleasant scenes.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Spirit ★★★★★ ★★★☆☆

A good episode with a conclusion that makes the next episode absolutely unmissable. This also features my favourite two outfits of the series (the ones she wears at the hotel) and, yes, numps is a real word and it does mean "dolt; blockhead."

DESCRIPTION
Her double-agent status confirmed, SD-6's security sector set about interrogating Sydney. Meanwhile, Will has procured a tape from a contact on the other end of "Kate Jones"' bug and has managed to isolate a clear assassination - three gun shots - and the codename SD-6.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Miguel Sandoval: Anthony Russek
◦ Scott Paulin:
◦ Aharon Ipale: Aninni Hassan
◦ Christopher Thornton:
◦ Scotch Ellis Loring:
◦ Sarah Shahi: Jenny
◦ James Warwick:
• Writer: J.J. Abrams
• Writer: Vanessa Taylor
• Director: Jack Bender

CONTENT
. Extremely unpleasant scenes (torture), strong violence.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.11 Confession, The ★★★★★ ★☆☆☆☆

A routine episode of this series with a climax that the audience saw coming a couple of months ago. Still, great fun.

DESCRIPTION
Sydney has gone in to rescue her father but ends up a prisoner. Jack is told to kill Sydney or be killed himself. Meanwhile, back at home Michael Vaughn is digging further into Jack Bristow's history and finds out that the books Jack had bought twenty-five years ago contained a list of CIA agents to be murdered...

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Aharon Ipale: Aninni Hassan
◦ James Handy: Devlin
◦ Francesco Quinn: Minos Sakkoula
• Writer: J.J. Abrams
• Writer: Daniel Arkin
• Director: Harry Winer

CONTENT
Mild swear words. Extreme violence.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.12,13 Box, The ★★★★★ ★★★☆☆

Exciting double episode where special guest star Quentin Tarantino provides good value for money. While his acting is typically bad in the first part, he is suitably loopy, much better in part two and even kicks Sydney's lovely butt. Sloane even says "Thank you" to Marshall (who replies with a great one-liner).

DESCRIPTION
With Sydney and Vaughn still reeling somewhat from the truth surrounding the death of his father, Sydney wants out. Failing to change her mind, Vaughn then runs into trouble in the office as the on-hand psychiatrist wants to chat with him. Sydney returns to work to inform Sloane that she is leaving but before she arrives, a team of mercenaries led by a seriously disgruntled ex-SD-6 operative named McKenas Cole breaks into SD-6 with the intention of stealing something from the SD-6 vault. Trapped in an elevator only Sydney and her father are undetected by the crooks.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Quentin Tarantino: McKenas Cole
◦ Joey Slotnick: CIA Officer Haladki
◦ Agnes Bruckner: Kelly
◦ Sarah Shahi: Jenny
◦ Patricia Wettig: Dr. Judy Barnett
◦ James Handy: CIA Director Devlin
• Writer: Jesse Alexander
• Writer: John Eisendrath
• Director: Jack Bender

CONTENT
. Extremely unpleasant scenes (torture and finger-amputation), extreme violece.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.14 Coup, The ★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

DESCRIPTION
While Sydney is now clearer about her professional duties with regard to being a double-agent at SD-6, she is still extremely unsettled about learning that her mother was not an English professor and was, in fact, a KGB agent responsible for assassinating CIA operatives including Vaughn's dad. The result of this is that she decides to ditch the academic side of her life but asking her Dad for his opinion will require some patience. Meanwhile SD-6 is shocked to learn that the FDL is publicly disbanded by a renegade operation under the guidance of someone known only as "The Man". SD-6 is shocked that The Man could mount an attack on both themselves and their Russian counterparts and Sloane wants to know more about this mysterious new entrant into the game.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Evan Dexter Parke: Charlie Bernard
◦ David Anders: Mr. Sark
◦ Allison Dean:
◦ Keone Young: Professor Choy
• Writer: Alex Kurtzman
• Writer: Roberto Orci
• Director: Thomas J. Wright

CONTENT
. Extreme and graphic violence.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.15 Page 47 ★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

Paced unevenly but a lot happens in this episode including the end of Will Tipping's SD-6 investigation, the lovely Sydney Bristow in a tiny crop top and even tinier hot pants (gasp!) and the mysterious, eponymous Page 47 of the Rambaldi manuscript.

DESCRIPTION
Still surprised by the assassination of the head of K-Directorate by The Man's Mr Sark, Sloane orders that the Rambaldi manuscript at the heart of the tussle be intercepted before it is handed over to The Man. Meanwhile, Will is getting names and information that will lead him to SD-6 if he is not stopped. Jack Bristow doesn't favor Sloane's termination order and so tries to scare Will off but he arranges another meeting with his primary source anyway.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Sarah Shahi: Jenny
◦ Amy Irving: Emily Sloane

CONTENT
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.16 Prophecy, The ★★★★★ ★☆☆☆☆

It's nice to see Roger Moore turn up and put one over Arvin Sloane (Ron Rifkin) but very little actually happens in this episode.

DESCRIPTION
Sydney is shocked to discover her face on a 500-year-old Rambaldi document but the security forces are holding the translation of the contents back but are simply refering to it as "The Prophecy." To determine whether she is the one specified in The Prophecy, detailed physical tests need to be undertaken but Sydney is deeply unhappy about the lack of information being given to her.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Roger Moore:
◦ Lindsay Crouse:
◦ James Handy:
◦ Derrick O'Connor: Alexander Casanov
◦ Joey Slotnick:
◦ Castulo Guerra:
◦ Wolf Muser:
◦ Amy Irving:
• Writer: John Eisendrath
• Director: Davis Guggenheim

CONTENT
. Graphic violence.
Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.

1.17 Q & A ★★★★★ ★☆☆☆☆

This is catch-up time with the entire story laid out interspersed with brief highlights from the previous 16 episodes. That means that not too much happens but the story starts rolling again near the end and director Ken Olin does pretty well with the rest of it.

DESCRIPTION
Sydney is questioned by the FBI and relates the account of how she came to be in her present circumstance but the authorities' unshakeable belief in the Rambaldi prophecies will lead Sydney to an inescapable but astonishing conclusion.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Terry O'Quinn: FBI Special Officer Kendall
◦ Joey Slotnick: CIA Agent Steven Haladki
• Writer: J.J. Abrams
• Director: Ken Olin

CONTENT
Mild swear words. Strong violence, unpleasant scenes.
Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.

1.18 Masquerade ★★★★★ ★☆☆☆☆

The plotting is really clunky in this episode but it is still good entertainment.

DESCRIPTION
After proving conclusively that it is not she who is referenced by Rambaldi's prophecy by scaling Mt. Subasio in Italy - something the woman in the prophecy will not have done - she is returned to her normal double-duties at the CIA and SD-6. However, Sydney's underwater escape has revealed how her mother survived her supposedly fatal car crash and everyone comes to the realisation that the prophecy must refer to her. Sydney becomes preoccupied by the hunt for her mother but her father and handler do not want to or cannot help, so she reluctantly turns to Sloane for assistance.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Peter Berg: Noah Hicks
◦ Angus Scrimm: Agent McCullough
◦ Patricia Wettig: Dr. Judy Barnett
• Writer: Roberto Orci
• Writer: Alex Kurtzman
• Director: Craig Zisk

CONTENT
. Strong violence. Sexual scene
Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.

1.19 Snowman ★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

A decent enough episode but the conclusion is somewhat obvious and one hopes an explanation, or excuse, will be provided next week.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ Peter Berg: Noah Hicks
◦ Natasha Pavlovich: Young Laura Bristow / Irina Derevko
◦ Stephen Spinella: Kishell
◦ Boris Krutonog: Young Alexander Khasinau
◦ Angus Scrimm: Agent McCullough
◦ Paul Lieber: Yonug Bentley Calder
◦ Patricia Wettig: Dr. Judy Barnett
• Writer: Jesse Alexander
• Writer: Jeff Pinkner
• Director: Barnet Kellman

CONTENT
. Graphic violence, unpleasant scene. Mild nudity
Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.

1.20 Solution, The ★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

DESCRIPTION
After killing The Snowman - lover Noah Hicks - Sydney is despondent and questioning the worthwhileness of her activities as a double-agent. The other people in her life are having serious problems as well. Sloane's wife is now stuck in hospital after reacting badly to chemotherapy and is about to reveal something that will bring her life to an even sooner termination. Tippin is contacted by his mysterious source again and informed that his kidnapper was none other than Sydney's dad, Jack, and forces him to reopen his investigation. This tips Jack off that there is a serious breach of security at a high-up level.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ James Handy: CIA Director Devlin
◦ David Anders: Mr. Sark
◦ Tony Amendola: Barcelo
◦ Kirk B.R. Woller: Exterminator
◦ Amy Irving: Emily Sloane
• Writer: John Eisendrath
• Director: Daniel Attias

CONTENT
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.21 Rendezvous ★★★★★ ★★★★☆

Oooh!

DESCRIPTION
Unsure whether Dixon has recognized her, Sydney manages to escape the situation with Vaughn's help but sustains an arm injury that Dixon soon spots back at SD-6. Sloane pleas for Emily's life with the Alliance, reasoning that she only has a week to live due to her cancer anyway. Tippin and Jack try to set up a meeting with Tipping's mysterious contact in order to discover the source of the security leak. Tippin is ordered to Paris for the meet at the same time that Sydney and Dixon are sent to Paris to run a mission involving Casanov.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ David Anders: Mr. Sark
◦ Derrick O'Connor: Alexander Casanov
◦ Joseph Ruskin:
◦ Wolf Muser:
◦ Kamala Dawson:
◦ Amy Irving:
• Writer: Erica Messer
• Writer: Debra J. Fisher
• Director: Ken Olin

CONTENT
Mild swear words. Violence.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

1.22 Almost 30 Years ★★★★★ ★★☆☆☆

And so the first series of Alias comes to an end... but the story doesn't. This has been a classic television series and will deservedly propel star Jennifer Garner straight into a shot at cinema stardom (her subsequent big screen outings would be Spielberg's "Catch Me If You Can" and superhero flick "Daredevil" but her career would stall with the release of the offensively awful "Elektra").

DESCRIPTION
Circumstances conspire to put Jack and Sydney further in danger than ever before and their activities are behind the backs of both the CIA and SD-6, including Sydney's now-suspicious partner, Dixon. Meanwhile, Sloane has to come to terms with the fact that cancer is not going to kill his wife, Emily, and that he will have to.

PEOPLE CREDITS
◦ Jennifer Garner: Sydney Bristow
◦ Ron Rifkin: Arvin Sloane
◦ Michael Vartan: Michael Vaughn
◦ Bradley Cooper: Will Tippin
◦ Merrin Dungey: Francie Calfo
◦ Carl Lumbly: Marcus Dixon
◦ Kevin Weisman: Marshall Flinkman
◦ Victor Garber: Jack Bristow
• Writer (Series' Creator): J.J. Abrams
◦ David Anders: Mr. Sark
◦ Derrick O'Connor: Alexander Casanov
◦ James Handy:
◦ Joey Slotnick:
◦ Elaine Kagan:
◦ Wolf Muser:
◦ Ric Young: Taiwanese Torturer
◦ Amy Irving:
• Writer: J.J. Abrams

CONTENT
Mild swear words. Gory scenes, several extremely unpleasant scenes.
Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.